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| Our friend Fred. |
Your heartbeat pounds in your ears. A breath turns to a gasp. The head is full while the eyes leak.
His heart beats fast. His body shakes. I hold him close. Pat his furry head. While I mount my plan.
If I empty a can of tuna, perhaps he’d eat.
I poured the medicine in. A good strong dose.
As he lay half cradled, the head perked up. In a wane from the panting, he swallowed it up.
My relief was brief. How long would it take?
The hours rolled by. No sleep for us both.
The hours rolled by. No sleep for us both.
Finally, before the sun shone up, he lay there flat. The trembling had stopped. The pain relief brief.
But the day was hard. How long should I keep this up?
It’s severe osteoarthritis. The worst the vet has ever seen. Monthly trips to the vet for a shot with anti-inflammatory medication to support. Some days are worse then others.
A long time ago when my son was young we visited a friend on his deathbed, from a severe arthritic condition. The pain was clear. Our visit was brief.
When we left my son turned to me and said.
“Mum why can’t we just put him to sleep?”
Today for the first time, I contemplate that thought, for my dear friend, Fred.
It’s so hard to let go. To say goodbye.
To our dear furry friends.
2 comments:
Jane, I put my 17 year old schipperke to sleep on Thursday April 14. It was the hardest thing to do. I miss him so much and these words helped me decide, for him.....
May I go now?
Do you think the time is right,
to say goodbye
to days with pain
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example I’ve tried to be.
Now may I take the step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might,
yet something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.
I want to go,
I really do,
it's difficult to stay,
and I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to say good bye
and share your love and fears,
I know you're sad and so afraid,
I see and feel your tears.
I'll not be far,
I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
my spirit will be inside you
wherever you may go.
Thank you so much for loving me,
you know I love you too,
that's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end my life with you.
Just kiss my head
and hold me close,
and feel the love we share.
and I’ll feel safe and slip away,
I know you’ll always be there.
So hold me now,
just one more time,
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.
Loving you always………..
Think of him first and you will know what to do.
Oh my goodness. I SO appreciate this. How beautiful. How absolutely beautiful. My son said to me on the weekend, "Are we keeping him around for us, or for him?"
Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss. 17 years is a long time.
We are going day by day. At the moment he seems comfortable. The weekend was horrible. Day by day.
Thank you so so so very much.
jane
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