The Shadows of Debt

Swallow the pride I said to myself. Make the call. If it’s before noon, you’ll have the money in your account the next day.
I couldn't go any longer. How embarrassing would it be to be standing there with key in hand and debit card in another and oops, “Insufficient funds in account.” Sorry. Can’t take the truck home tonight after the brakes have been renewed. Ouch.
Drawing on one’s pension since one lost the steady high paying full-time job almost two years ago is demoralizing. Not only that, scary. I transferred the pension over to the RRSPs so I could access as needed. Far too frequently. When it’s gone. It is gone.
Money. Money. Money. Can’t live without it. Whenever you have it, no matter how much you make or have, for some reason it is never enough.
I often dwell on what it would be like to not worry about paying bills on time. The triple A credit rating took time. Don’t want to loose it.
Years ago, I remember furnishing my first apartment. In a second hand store I discovered a treasure of an art deco kitchen table. Had to have it. Went to the bank, not thinking and got the cash. Handed it over to the shop owner and said, that’s my rent money right there.
He looked at me with a smile and a smirk shrugging his shoulders and said, “It’s only money honey!”