A Thousand Apologies

For not writing sooner.

I couldn’t.

For not picking up the telephone.

I didn’t want to cry.

For not reaching out.

I needed to wallow in my own self-pity.

For not telling you the truth.

I am here and cannot be there.

For not exercising today.

I didn’t have the power.

For not eating the vegetables.

The flour and the sugar fills the hole.

For not going to bed early.

It hurts too much to lie there and think of you.

For not following my heart.

I know better.

For not being honest with myself.

I love you but I can’t be with you.

A thousand apologies,

For not being able to let you go.