Thursday, 10 May 2012

To Scare Yourself

Who came up with that line anyway?
“Do something everyday that scares yourself.”
When I feel the uncomfortable twang I am reminded.
It’s everyday now, although getting somewhat easier and less frequent.
Considered homeless by the Vancouver Marine Police I’ve been relocated to the North Shore for anchorage. Another week and I can go back to the False Creek shuffle.
For another two weeks.
Then I come back again.
It’s amusing in many ways. And difficult too.
I wish I had roots. Access to power. A nearby shower. Laundry.
I’ve asked the Universe. Why me? What have I done that has been so wrong?
In acceptance I have discovered. It’s not what I’ve done that’s wrong. It is the lofty goals I have set for myself.
The Enbridge Ride to Conquer Cancer 320km Challenge course next month.
Thank goodness it is spring and not winter!
Gingerly I plop the road bike, less the front wheel, derailer side up in the aft end of the dinghy. Gently placing the loaded panniers (complete with laptop) and front wheel in the bow.
Carefully I step to sit so I can row to shore and repeat the process.
Then it’s putting the bike together and setting off.
For what really scares me.
Riding skinny tires in Vancouver. Over the Second Narrows bridge.
Clear glasses have made a difference. Weekly brake adjustments as well.
Experience is starting to show. I can roll the hills with more confidence.
No speed wobbles. Panniers get packed to balance.
What does it make me knowing I scare myself daily?
Or less likely to search out other ways to scare myself!

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