Healing Received

Some people can see things others don’t.

Like Chakras.

It’s an unfamiliar language to many.

I know when I first heard the speak.

After a devastating separation, a close friend asked me to close my eyes. What colour did I see she asked?

It was black.

Not surprising given my state of mind.

It should be purple.

Soon after I received my first Reiki healing. My pain was obvious.

In the heart.

Many use the gift of their hands for healing, using the power of the Universe.

Tonight I was fortunate to have my good neighbour and friend, Tara visit me.

I was comfortable and open to receiving.

As her hands waved across my body she easily picked up my pain and blockages.

No surprise given nine days ago I’d fractured my pelvis in two places, along with my clavicle.

Throughout the healing I could feel tension in my body releasing. At one point my four fingers on my right side sharply raised up in the air. Like a policeman telling you to stop at a crosswalk.

Pinks, purples and blacks swirled as her hands moved to different areas of my body.

She sensed muscle strain and some fear.

I felt a wider pathway to healing received.

For that I am so grateful.

The Pain Path

While you’re in it, you know it. But once it’s gone you’ll forget all about it.

At least that’s what I keep reminding myself.

Especially at night.

Sleeping with a fractured pelvis is a challenge.

I can last three or four hours at the most on my back and then I need to sit up.

Thankfully I’m now able to get up and walk to the washroom.

Seems to take the strain off the lower back.

For that I am grateful.

As I hobble through the day my spirit reminds me.

You are healing!

The pain path - it’s temporary.

One Step Forward

Didn’t realize I’d become so dependent on other people. Little things like opening the door for you. Holding the door open.

Buying groceries.

Doing laundry.

Driving a car.

Caring.

Loving.

Sympathy.

I need it.

It’s been since Sunday. I’m doing super good. Except for last night. I torqued my pelvis out so bad I thought I was back at square one.

This morning when I got up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m., I wondered if I’d last the day.

Pretty much said it out loud by the time I got to Government Street and Belleville.

Then I was instructed to walk a block to where I needed to activate and appoint a Captain of a smozzle of volunteers I’d had to recruit for the start/finish area.

An angel appeared with a cushion and a chair.

Thankfully I didn’t have to man it long and was recruited to the plush office at Parkside for activating the Social Media.

My gosh. I barely got time to amble to the washroom to pea!

My 4pm when I looked up it dawned on me.

Who am I doing this for?

I hadn’t eaten. I didn’t really have anyone I could call.

I was stuck.

Yet, I pressed on until the blindness set in. Fuel was needed for the fire. Morphine for the pain.

I launched myself away. Away away.

And then again I said.

Who am I doing this for?

One step forward, three steps back.

The Healing Journey

When I saw Shelley cross her legs in the yoga position on a comfy big wing back chair I immediately thought, “I can hardly wait till I can do that again!”

Oddly it’s something I’ve been missing. I guess I used to do it a lot.

Sleeping was hard. By 4:30am I was able to make my way to my right side (the good side) with a pillow between the legs. The clavicle didn’t love it. But I managed a few solid hours of sleep.

Fits of crying seem to erupt when I’ve walked too far and the pain measures up. Although today I managed a full day sitting up and working at my computer. For that I was proud.

I’m taking smaller doses of morphine for pain management.

But the real break though was crawling into bed at 6pm. I was able to cross legs at my ankles!

A pelvis does a lot I’ve realized. Having two fractures is painful. But each moment seems to get better. Although it will be a while before I’m running again.

I remembered awaking to the feeling of the bike sliding underneath me. I shook it off.

Never again!

The healing journey has begun.

Back in the saddle in no time!

Broken Wings

Yup, life can change in a heart beat.

I was super excited Sunday morning getting ready for my long roady. Mindy and I were going to do a 90km loop.

Even soaked the steel cut oats in water overnight.

It had rained in the night. I set the odometer to 0 and clipped in with a smile on my face.

Was pretty stoked to be heading out with my new back wheel. I’d broken a few spokes and had a loaner on for a while. Yesterday I managed the newbie. Wow I had so much more power.

I took to the streets with some speed. But when I went to cross the train tracks somehow, my back end fishtailed out and I went down hard. Very hard. Hip, shoulder, then head.

I knew it was bad. I had to gasp for air.

Seconds passed and I was able to move my weight to my right side off my hip. I could see cars driving by.

Then I heard someone come up behind me.

“Are you OK? Can you get up.”

“No, I replied. I can’t move.”

In fits of calmness I asked for help. My phone. Somewhere behind me. He called 911. I called my son.

“Kyle, I went down really hard off my bike. I need you to come and get my bike for me – NOW.”

I was a block away from meeting Mindy. So I asked a fellow cyclists to hook up for me.

At this point many people were stopping to put blankets on me and ask if they could help.

That dang pavement is hard!

At one point while waiting for the ambulance I had my son sit behind me to prop me up.

I’d known child birth. Non-medicated. The pain was right up there. I knew I’d done something bad to my pelvis.

The nurse who took to my care remained positive.

“Probably a bad tear.”

I imagined it. My cleat. The release.

But as I rolled over to x-ray my body went into shock. I’d known the feeling from a previous bike accident. Same hip. Same side. But in the past case – a lot more road rash.

She convinced me when I got out of x-ray to take the shot of morphine.

Then she told me it looked like I had a couple fractures.

We talked a lot about cycling. Riding in a pack. She’s signed up to do the 140km Ryder Hesjedal’s Tour de Victoria. Nervous about riding in the packs.

I gave her my insights. “You’re gonna love it!”

The day wore on and the pain subsided. I was later told I fractured my left superior and inferior pubic ramus (pelvis) and the distal end of my clavicle in my left shoulder.

Awakening to the realization I’m going to need a lot of healing, one by one I alerted family, friends and co-workers.

I’m receiving amazing care.

Yesterday I was able to stand and take a few baby steps. I’m now able to pivot myself to the port-pottie even!

But when I woke up yesterday morning in a hospital bed, not even 24 hours later I thought it was all a bad dream.

Truth be known I shed a few.

The day drew on and I sat back to do my work as best I could.

Gotta keep the sanity.

Friends and even my boss came in for hugs.
The day’s recital went like this:

“I’m so grateful I didn’t break my head. I don’t need surgery and yes – I will heal!”

It’s temporary.

The broken wings.